Paul Aihoshi

Welcome

PONDWARD BOUND

On May 5, 2012, I was ready to spend the afternoon getting drunk at a bar with two of the most respected drinkers in the improv world, Simon Pond and Adam Ward, aka Pondward Bound. I arrived at the pub a little after noon and saw Adam sitting alone drinking something red. I thought, “Yes! A Caesar would be an excellent afternoon drink to get us started.” When the waitress arrived to take my order I said, “I’ll have what he’s having.” She replied, “Tomato Juice?” I said, “….Yes….” Then Simon arrived. He ordered a coffee. 

Our bill was under 9 dollars, I believe. 

During our brief alcohol-free drink fest, we discussed a topic that seemed near and dear to Simon’s heart: McDonalds’ breakfast. One of Simon’s ambitions is to run a McDonald’s with an all-day breakfast option. He seemed deeply disturbed with McDonald’s current practice of imposing a strict, 10:30am cut-off for breakfast foods. Eventually though, Simon put aside his McPassion and allowed the conversation to transition to a couple other breakfast stories, and then to coffee. Simon needed more coffee. Therefore, a short trek to Starbucks was next on our agenda.

Again, what’s the deal with improvisers and Starbucks? 

When we arrived, they bought their coffees, and I, a blueberry square. Then the photo taking adventures began. 

Out first stop was that marijuana, pot smoking, hippie, march/meet thing, to take a family photo. None of us smoke or had any interest in being there, so we left. Too many dreadlocks, not enough deodorant. 

Our next stop took us to Simon’s headquarters, the grounds of U of T. He went on to act as our official tour guide, taking us from one court to another as I snapped a few photos along the way. They are a sexy couple; Adam has great posture. However, Simon’s greatest knowledge seemed to be knowing how to survive at U of T as a homeless person. You just need to be okay with eating bran muffins and pizza, and constantly updating your resumé.

After a few more photos and almost picking up a dead baby bird, our day was coming to an end. We searched for one last spot to shoot, which ended up being a small alley next to a building used to store trash. I asked them to look in the dumpster. Simon seemed eager. Adam did not. And with that, I snapped the last photos of our day. 

Then they got a hotdog… possibly a sausage dog.